When we try to help someone grow, we often tend to create an overly supportive/nurturing environment or offer excessive assistance, believing that we are doing what is best for that person. However, there is an unexpected pitfall here. When we intentionally try to create such a framework, “nurturing” can, before we know it, turn into “controlling,” which stifles the other person’s autonomy and potential for growth.
Recently, I had the opportunity to visit Portland, Oregon in the United States to teach a seminar. After the seminar concluded successfully, local residents gave me a guided tour of the area. About an hour’s drive from downtown Portland, vineyards producing high-quality wines stretch as far as the eye can see. Numerous wineries are scattered throughout these vineyards, each offering unique experiences so that visitors can enjoy wine tastings. I have hardly touched alcohol since last year, but since people were kind enough to invite me, I decided to experience the tasting.
I do not have any expert knowledge of wine, but when I tasted them side by side, I could definitely tell the difference. What really struck me was that, even though the grapes were grown in the same vineyard, there was a difference in flavor between those “grown with only natural rainwater” and those “grown with artificial watering.” I was told that grapevines grown with irrigation extend their
roots only to the shallow layers near the surface. Because they can easily access moisture, the grapes grow large, but as a result, they have a lighter, more delicate flavor. Grapevines grown solely on natural rainwater, on the other hand, extend their roots deep into the ground to survive. By desperately absorbing nutrients from deep, invisible layers of soil, they develop a rich, complex flavor.
The glass of wine made from grapes grown solely on rainwater had an indescribably robust yet delicate flavor. I could really sense the depth of the grapes that had survived a harsh environment, as well as the strength of the earth that sustained them. Of course, simply abandoning the grapes to a harsh environment would cause them to wither, exhaust themselves, and ultimately fail. I was deeply impressed by this approach to cultivation, which is neither overprotective nor neglectful, but focuses on “creating an environment where the grapes can put down deep roots on their own.”
The other day, at a recital by pianist Shiori Kuwahara, I sensed the coexistence of “power” and “delicacy” in her performance. It seems that the same coexistence exists in wine as well. Both require a solid foundation, and in the case of wine, this is achieved by extending roots deep into the earth.
This attitude/posture of “laying down deep roots on one’s own” is also extremely important in human learning and growth. If we compare “teaching” and “mentoring” in our training to “watering” in growing grapes, the important thing is not simply whether or not we water them. Rather, it is how we create an environment that encourages people to want to extend their roots on their own.
If we provide too much assistance, the roots will remain shallow. Conversely, if we neglect them entirely, they will wither away. It is neither about pampering them nor abandoning them. The role of the instructor/mentor is to carefully observe the individual’s condition at every moment and maintain the appropriate distance and environment so that they can lay down deep roots on their own. The
way we interact with others changes over time. It is not uncommon for people to be unable to break away from outdated ways of interacting, which can then be considered harassment in today’s society. However, if all education aims for “independence,” then there must be a reliable “way of being” that remains unaffected by changing times.
In today’s information society, we live in an environment where it is easy to find information on just about anything and get answers quickly. If “being given” becomes the norm from the very beginning, we risk losing the initiative to think creatively and do our own research independently. As long as the evolution of AI cannot be stopped, this trend will only continue to intensify indefinitely. Neither “teaching” nor “not teaching” is the right answer. When the instructor refrains from readily providing answers and leaves room for the student to experiment and learn through trial and error, the motivation to “want to know” and “give it a try” arises within them. Only learning that is sought out, explored in depth, and reinforced through steady repetition becomes an integral part of the student’s being and develops into an unshakable depth.
Just like a grapevine that does not rely on the environment that was “given” but extends its roots deep into the bedrock beneath the soil, let us create an environment where each individual can exercise their initiative and lay down deep roots on their own.
Translated by Mayumi Case
Edited by David Shaner
Eastern Ki Federation
https://easternkifederation.org/
Original article in Japanese: 根を張る (Ne o Haru)
July 1, 2026
