In martial arts the phrase “showing no openings (to have no weak point)” is very important. In Shinshin Toitsu Aikido trainings, we practice the standing posture or holding bokken which have no room to be overrun. To show no openings is also very important in daily life, especially with human relationships. When do you think people can easily make the room to be overrun?
First, speaking ill of others could create such an opening. For example, “A” is dissatisfied with “B”, and while B is not around, A says negative things about B. Assuming that B would not hear about it, this is a behavior that creates an opening.
Of course, there is always a possibility of someone else tells B what A speaks around and he/she often distort A’s words or even add some evil meanings. This could lead to a worse result, than when A complains directly to B.
Let’s talk about another example of an “opening”.
The one who spreads minus Ki through dissatisfaction and gossip, attracts negative persons. This is like self-voluntarily inviting minus. There is also a possibility of someone sneaking up behind, use A’s negative feelings of B, to benefit themselves.
I have been teaching the principles of Ki to many company executives. After the classes, they come with many questions about their problems in the company. Half of the trouble in these relationships is due to a little carelessness on the part of the executives, themselves. In an unguarded moment, they invite negative Ki or persons.
The one who does not gossip or pass on rumors has no “openings” or weak points. There is no room to invade this person. Managers and leaders, who have responsibility, should show no “openings”/weak points in behavior, speech and actions.
Another example of an “opening” is to keep your friends or someone important away and be out of contact.
Imagine “C” and “D” are good friends, but both become busy and have not heard from each other for several months. Then C hears somebody say that D is talking badly about C. C thinks, “D could never say that.” The rumors could not have any justification under normal circumstances, but because either have not met for awhile, it would be difficult to verify, thus cause both to become estranged.
Because of situations like those above, relationships can be damaged or destroyed.
Perhaps there could be a bigger reason for this estrangement. “E” could be a very bad person, notice that there is some distance between C and D. E deliberately gives unnecessary information to C, and make C and D feel apart. Especially if E says to C “please make it a secret what you heard from me”. This makes C difficult to verify/confront D about the rumors.
To leave one’s relationship without Ki communication by not keeping in touch could make the room to be misused by someone else. Even one phone call or one letter exchanged could connect each strongly and when something happens, they can ask directly without any hesitation. There is no room for E to step in.
It could be that one might blame E for trying to step in and make C&D’s communication bad. However, if all you can do is to say “What E has done is bad”, it does not do anything to protect relationships. It is a fact that people who like to cause problems are inevitable in life, so the effort to make sure there is no “opening” is very important.
Even with relationships in daily life there are many other examples of “openings”. Please find many other probable reasons for it.